A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and raninto the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of herlungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!”The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff ormountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.”A guy calls his buddy, the horse rancher, and says he’s sending a friend over to look at a horse. His buddy asks, ‘How will I recognize him?’ ‘That’s easy; he’s a midget with a speech impediment.’ ... So, the midget shows up, and the guy asks him if he’s looking for a male or female horse. ‘A female horth.’ So he shows him a prized filly. ‘Nith lookin horth. Can I thee her eyeth’? So the guy picks up the midget and he gives the horse’s eyes the once over. ‘Nith eyeth, can I thee her earzth’? So he picks the little fella up again, and shows him the horse’s ears. ‘Nith earzth, can I see her mouf’? The rancher is getting pretty tick ed off by this point, but he picks him up again and shows. The vast majority were my siblings ... if they acted out like this in regular school ... I was all for sending them all to Catholic School and let the Nuns sort them out. I was Too, their snot nosed redheaded brat of a sister. Nobody paid any attention to Too.Whoever heard of a teacher with the outlandish sobriquet of... Too... ? Nope ... seated behind that huge old oak desk was the same sister I'd always been ... Too. Nobody called me Wendy ... nobody called me Wendolyn ... the whole damn family called me Too.'Not so, Gwen.''Mother. One more word... ''Whatcha gonna do, Gwen?'I exploded out of my seat, flew across the room and slapped my mothers knuckles with an ink pen ruler. I swear my feet never touched the floor. I was seated in my chair before mom reacted. She had a shocked expression on her face as she grabbed her injured hand ... the blood dripped.For those of you who don't recall ... because you're young enough for ballpoints ... exactly what an ink pen ruler is ... I'm gonna.
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